That's It Huh?

When they finally sent me home
From Vietnam
And after I had spent a few days in Frisco
Getting stoned
Looking for the myth of the place
And finding only
Bikers
Junkies
Speed freaks
Pushers
Thieves
Burned out Hippies
And
Pimps
I realised that
I had just traded
One wasteland
For
Another
So I bought a bus ticket
Home
To Indiana

I didn’t have any baggage
I had thrown away all the army gear
Bought some jeans
Shoes
Shirt
And a light jacket
Then climbed aboard the Trailways bus


The trip should have taken four days
I got off the bus
The next morning
And started hitch-hiking
It took me weeks to get home
I met a lot of people
Out there
On the road
I was broke and they fed me
Let me sleep
Let me talk
Let me listen
Bought me coffee
They drove all kinds of vehicles
Trucks that hauled cattle
Trucks that hauled mobile homes
A young and beautiful blond
Who drove a Cadillac
Picked me up in Wisconsin
I told her that I thought she was living dangerously
She said the same about me
She was student on her way
Home for Christmas
I got lost a few times
It didn’t matter
I was lost before I started
And I knew
Even then
That I would be lost
For years
Forever


I damn near froze to death
In Minnesota
But a kind lady
Who ran a small hotel
In a small town
Let me come in and sit by the fire
And from time to time
I went back to the highway
And stayed there till I was almost froze
I had made a promise to myself
While I was in Vietnam
And I planned to keep it
So when I got back to Indiana
And had washed and slept
At my mothers house
I looked up an old friend
Called Jim
We had grown up together
Run wild together
Ever since we were kids in the neighbourhood
I had something to do
Somewhere to go
But this time I wanted company
Someone to share the road with
Where are we going?
Jim asked
Washington D.C.
I answered
What for?
Jim asked
Something I got to do
I answered
Cool
Jim said


So off we went
Across four states
In five days
You could smell the cities first of all
Then the sky changed from blue to orange
And the city would appear
They all looked the same
Same cars
Same houses
Same faces
Same sky scrapers
Same steel mills
And me and Jim
Disconnected
Riding through time and space

We finally made it to D.C.
Got to the heart of the place
Monuments akimbo
Buildings from which the world was run
Tourists making their pilgrimage
Cameras by the thousands
To get there we had to hitchhike
Through the worlds largest ghetto
But the heart of the place
Screamed loud with power and money
We found our way to the Capital Building
Where the congress sat
Where they rubber stamped the madness
I had waited a long time to be there
And now
I was


So what now?
Jim asked
This
I said
I walked up to the place
Tourists and cameras all around me
Men and women in suits coming and going
Walked up to stand right against the building
Unzipped my jeans
Pulled out my dick
And pissed on it
Zipped back up
And walked back to Jim
He just looked at me
Smiled
And said
That’s it huh?
Yeah that’s it
I answered

We stayed long enough
To visit
The Lincoln Memorial
And pay our respect
Then started back…
Mission accomplished

Old Billy Wrote

Old Billy wrote
Of brows besieged
By forty winters wear
Of making love
And sowing seeds
And so thy beauty share
With generations
Down through time
Thy beauty always there

Old Billy wrote
Through Hamlet’s speech
Of arrows and of slings
Of the noble choices
And unseen fears
Outrageous Fortune brings
And that
Undiscovered country
Whose siren ever sings

Anticipation

I know that you are coming
My house is ready
Food and comfort planned
Conversation anxiously awaited

Will we get there?
Will we see the point together?
Find the meaning of the moment?
Remember why we are friends?

In these times
I need someone to talk with
Someone to share my perception
Or…correct it

Common Knowledge

The whole world knows about
Van Gogh’s ear
Elvis’s hamburgers
Janet Jackson’s tit
Clinton’s cigar
Monica’s dress
Bush and the oil companies
Poe’s darkness
De Sade’s fixations
Jesus’s sacrifice
Marilyn and the Kennedy brothers
Genocide all over the place
The rich getting richer
How the blind lead the blind
How we won the war
How the market place exploits the weakness in us
How fast foods keep us fat and happy
How skinny women are the icons
How little girls dream of weddings and pop stars
How little boys dream of monsters and firetrucks

The whole world knows about
Hitler’s moustache
Castro’s beard
Beckham’s foot
Streisand’s nose
Parton’s bust
Grable’s legs
Stalin’s goulags
Lincoln’s hat
High taxes
Low expectations
Mortgage rates
The need for shelter
The need for love
The need to be accepted
The need to stand apart from and above the crowd
The need to be admired
The need to be remembered
Like
Van Gogh’s ear

She's Gone

She died this morning

She was in the sweet company of people who loved her
And cared for her
Who could ask for more?

My brothers and sisters
And all their children
And all their children's children
Will gather to send her off

They will cry
And laugh,
They will join together
And their memories
Although very different
Will isolate and unite them in their grief
And celebration
Of this good, strong woman

I will not be there
All will be aware that I am absent
None will blame me...except me
I could have done better

My brother said this
When I spoke with him
"You are not alone..
..There's just nobody there"

The story of my life
Alone...but never lonely
Lonely..but never quite alone

She's gone now...this morning
And noone touches me
Noone holds me
Noone comforts me

Thank God...if there is one
for.......
Telephones

The Thing About Distance

The thing about distance...forced or self-imposed
Is that there are things that you miss
Some little...some big...but most just pass by without notice
Until suddenly it hits you...that...you've missed it all

Births...all the children that will only know you as a name..and visa-versa...if at all
Christenings and such...no wetting the baby's head amongst family and friends
Weddings...the children that you never met grow and change without you
Without your notice ...and...without you entirely
Deaths....never a chance to reconcile, recollect, resolve...or reminisce

You also miss things like tacos, chille dogs, and root beer
Drive-in movies, skinny dipping, and protesting the war
Country roads and fishing holes
But these don't matter....much

Distance isn't so much about who or what you are missing...
Not the tastes, the sounds, the sensations...

The thing about distance
Is
The
Silence

It's an empty glass

The Joke

I have spent the last four years
Being poked and prodded
By doctors and nurses
Most of who are genuinely pleasant people
My family has a lot of nurses in it
Sisters
Nieces
Nephews
In-laws
I know that they work hard
And it is not always easy
Bad backs are common among nurses
Long shifts and much overtime
But they have to put this aside
For the sake of the patient
And be cheerful
As a patient
I feel as though I have the same obligation
My discomfort or pain
Is not their fault
And if they have to poke about a bit
To find a vein
I’ll stand the unpleasantness
And I will make happy conversation
While they struggle

I say things like
I don’t have very easy veins to find
That’s one of the two reasons that I am not a heroin addict
What is the other reason?
They ask
I answer…
Fear of commitment

They laugh while they search
Needle first
Sometimes they try in both arms
Once they tried both arms
And then went for a vein in my hand
I know it is necessary
Leukaemia is like that
It lies dormant thanks to the chemo
But they always have to check
Because
One day it will wake up
And go to the next phase
They don’t know when
They don’t know how
But they know
And they monitor regularly
By taking my marrow and my blood
Needle
After
Needle
Visit
After
Visit

If I get a new nurse
I always tell them the joke I made up
I say
I’ve had more pricks
Than Marilyn Monroe
At
A Kennedy family reunion

Snow

I loved playing outside
When I was boy
In Texas
The yard was a wonderful place
There were
Lizards
Toads
Caterpillars
Bees
Wasps
Fire Ants
Plagues of Crickets
Locusts
Mosquitoes
There were
Scorpions
Spiders
Snakes
It was wonderful
The sun was hot
You could fry an egg
(We did it)
On the sidewalk
That was life
As a boy
In Texas

Then
One day
One year
It snowed
The world was cold and white
And you could play in it
Slide on it
Roll it
Throw it
Build it
Dig it
What a treat
Then the sun did its’ thing
And it all
Melted
Away
Same day
I think that was
The first time
That
I felt…
Something was missing
The world was a much bigger place
And
There was snow in it!

Should You?

Should you let
Not having anything interesting
Relevant
Insightful
Particularly Truthful
Humorous
Unique
Instructive
Constructive
Enlightening
Uplifting
Or
Even
Understandable
Stop you
From
Writing?
Fuck No!!
But it should stop
Others
From
Reading
So go on
Give it your best shot
Even if it is all bullshit
Nonsense
Puerile
Even if it’s all been said
Already
Better than you ever could
Say it
Say it anyway
Let it all out
Let it breathe fresh air
See the light of day
Let them laugh
Let them see you stumble
Then
Pick yourself up
And
Do it again
It ain’t for them
Anyway
It’s about
Just doing it
Not about glory
Not about reward
Not about anything
That’s the point
Nothing glorious happened
Nothing rewardable happened
Nothing to be proud about
Just the things that happened
How you saw them
How you see them now
And then
The End

Prayer to a Might Be God

Yahweh Yahweh
Allah Allah
Dei Dei
Lordy Lordy
Oh Hurdy Gurdy
Please
Put the
Mumbo Jumbo
On the
Hurly Burly
Cause
I have
The Heebie Jeebies
In my
Curly Worly
Oh Holy Moly
Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee
Ahora Por Favor
Mama Mia
Grazzi Grazzi Grazzi
Mea Culpa
Mea Culpa
Mea Maxima Culpa
Tu est Tuto
Yo soy nada
Por Favor
Porque No?
Amen
(Sorry to bother ya)